An interesting update

So I go into my email and see I have Feedspot promoting my blog! Interesting because of my current journey. I am in some sort of spiritual 'crisis' I suppose I could call it or as I wrote on Dear Sharne Blog, I am breaking up into millions of pieces that I don't have any energy to put myself together or even recognize the pieces any more to put together.

I have taken myself on a journey at present. I have left my job, or it left me, not sure which, I have moved from a small town of about 4,000 people to a city of about 4,000,000. I have a few thousand dollars to keep me going until what I don't know. 

For at least 2 months I have just been traveling from friend to friend, sort of visiting until I moved here to Sydney and I'm doing a sublet for a couple of weeks and then........ I don't really know. I don't seem to be able to function in a functional way, I can't motivate myself to take action much at all. Yesterday I applied for some work delivering advertising material for a Trade Fair kind of thing and that's only for a couple of days. I haven't organized a place to stay in a week and a half but it feels really ok. Even though a situation took me into a painful reaction last night and this morning, which has shifted somewhat into a passive kind of peaceful feeling, almost a resignation of some sort to what I'm experiencing.

I seem to fall into an unconscious abyss only to watch myself slowly come out to a joyous heart expansion. This has been happening over and over for the past few weeks, since I embarked on this moment by moment existence. I seem to want to challenge the depths of my fear and pain body as Eckart Tolle would call it. To drain the depths to my unconscious, I'm not sure how much is left and it doesn't seem to matter, it is what it is. Of course I want to come out to a totally awakened state but I suppose that is something that is out of my control, as much as anything seems to be out of my control at present.

Now you may ask what this has to do with 3,000,000 give a $1, well it has everything to do with it. As most of us on this journey at present know, its all about our vibration. I can't receive anything I'm not vibrating at, and yes because I'm still in this physical form I have a dream as to how I want that form to be. I do want a beautiful comfortable home overlooking an ocean view, very similar to the one I am experiencing in this sublet. I do want a nice car that gets me around. You get the idea.

Perhaps the process I'm going through is part of me clearing my vibration to match my dream life, I don't really know, I just seem compelled to do what I do, without any real direction or even a semblance to a life moving forward. All I know is I'm alive, I have food, a comfortable space to sleep. A heart that is so full, at times, I could burst and a pain that is so overwhelming, at times, that I truly don't want to be part of this world but I am and I'm ok. I have also wondered if this a death to my ego, it feels like something is dying inside of me and it stinks to high heaven and I am ready to chuck it on the trash heap.

If anyone is ahead of my game, you know 'been there done that' I would love to hear from you,,words of encouragement. I am also happy to just keep journaling and see where this takes me! Much abundance to us all in a million different ways.

Blessings Sharne 

PayPal  sharneshaan@gmail.com

When things get interesting!

Yes things are getting interesting, I feel like I am fine tuning myself at present. This seems to be coming in the form of noticing my patterns or reactions and being, almost, instantly allowing of them.

So I see myself react, or I see my pattern of lack rear it's head and I just allow it to be there. I can see my tendency to want to make someone else wrong but I can't. It's like it becomes an instant mirror. It's all me!!!! Now to say this is easy or simple wouldn't be the truth but it is wonderful, liberating, exciting and yes very interesting!!! It is exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. It's like I'm me and the other person at the same time. I can understand where they are coming from, I can empathise with them without diminishing myself at the same time.

And if I don't have clarity of who I need to be or what I need to do I have a strong conscious self that tells me to let it go, it's ok, it will work out; that part tells me I don't need to control the situation, just let it go and before I know it another piece of the puzzle falls into place. Very powerful stuff! It's like I don't need to have a handle on the situation, just the present moment and my conditioned responses to what is before me.

I'm feeling very blessed and excited, I feel like I am fulfilling a mission, my mission or seeing the bigger picture in the moment. It's not like it is all perfect but I'm not losing little pieces of myself, which is what I felt like in the past. Like I was breaking up, loosing focus or something weird but 'today' I felt more whole, like I was including myself and other in the picture. And perhaps from the others perspective it wasn't perfect or comfortable or easy either, I was aware of that too but that's growth and in some ways I could see myself no longer afraid of growing or allowing anyone else to grow in my presence.

Now it may appear like I am not on track with abundance but the whole situation was to do with that subject, in one way or another, because it was confronting my self worth, my issues with money and allowing the 'energy that creates worlds' to take care of it all, doing the dance of being a spiritual in a human form. At the same time there was awareness of what I needed to do form myself to stay connected to this energy.

I'm pretty tired but in a good way, like a job well done that has given me great satisfaction in it's completion.

Abundance to us all!

“People with a scarcity mentality tend to see everything in terms of win-lose. There is only so much; and if someone else has it, that means there will be less for me. The more principle-centered we become, the more we develop an abundance mentality, the more we are genuinely happy for the successes, well-being, achievements, recognition, and good fortune of other people. We believe their success adds to…rather than detracts from…our lives.”
~ Stephen R. Covey

Sharne Warren
Pay Pal Account sharneshaan@gmail.com

Confronting the issue of deserving

The latest observation is confronting my issues of deserving. I have thoughts about whether I deserve to have money in my life, am I deserving of others to just give me money! Or where ever it may come from really.

Like I mentioned in the last blog I have developed a level of understanding and compassion towards others that are in the public trying to get people give them money, the other day I just emptied my coin purse to a juggler in front of the supermarket, I wanted to offer that understanding through connecting with him with a smile and it was nice to acknowledge his bravery to be standing on the street, performing for money. It does take bravery to expose your offering to be paid money in return, he wasn't the best juggler I have seen, in fact he looked like he was just learning but I suppose he was doing what he thought he should do to get people to give him some money. Anyway I gave because I was inspired by that bravery, not because I felt sorry for him or that he even needed my money.

So the whole issue, for me, is what do I have to offer in exchange for money? I have read many teachings that espouse that when you are in alignment, meaning totally believe you are in a position to receive or have already received, what it is that you desire, it appears effortlessly. I would like to believe this teaching is true, at the same time I may need to demonstrate to myself that I am in alignment with this teaching.

This is the journey for me right now. Am I in alignment with my desires, how do I experience myself to be in alignment with my desires? If I am aligned with $3,000,000, I am told through various teachings, I have to know myself as already acting as if this is true. A person who has this kind of wealth doesn't worry about how the bills are going to be paid, knows there is more than enough to let money go, gives to causes that inspire them, gives to others in need freely, is generous because they have more than enough. Doesn't worry about the future.

Another side to this journey for me as I have already mentioned and probably the most important is my spiritual connection to my existence. Like I said before in a previous post, I have had my share of making bad financial choices, hardships and one thing these situations and life's continuing experiences have taught me is to stop trying to control it all, the old 'let go and let God'. I do believe in a greater power that supports my existence and the existence of the physical world. I believe I am connected to this energy that does create worlds. I also believe if I surrender to this energy that is governed by certain universal laws, I can allow my life to evolve in such a way that I am allowing it to unfold. I am allowing myself to align with the unlimited abundant aspect of the universal love that I am connected to, that gives to itself. I believe the only way I can experience myself as wealthy is to know my own sense of abundance beyond the mere physical demonstration of it. The real purpose for this project, to challenge myself to feel worthy enough to receive the physical abundance of the world I live in, that many experience already.

Yes the process to align with my goal, feeling the fun and challenge of aligning with my goal! The saga continues!

“Expect your every need to be met. Expect the answer to every problem, expect abundance on every level.”
~ Eileen Caddy

Abundance to all!
 Sharne Warren Pay Pal account sharneshaan@gmail.com

Day three and what now, an onging update!

Putting myself out there!

Well so far I have talked to a few people about my 'project', close friends of course and I have had a very positive response. They do love and value me though, so not a good gauge of how I will feel exposing my new ideas to the masses or people on my facebook. Today is the day I am going to put myself out there.

So a thought that occurred to me was that I'm a cyber beggar, at first I felt shocked and in seconds highly amused and open to that idea. And yes it confronts my judgements in the past of people on the streets begging for money and 'oh no I'm not one of them' but yes I am, I might not be dressed like them or live on the streets or have issues with addictions but I do see myself like them.

I feel the pressures of life to be something I don't think I can achieve in the traditional sense. I feel diminished at times by my circumstances. This project is about confronting all those fears, even just thinking about allowing myself to have a different life is part of the confrontation for me.

Yesterday I gave to a cause on facebook, also it was a site friends have told me about where people do this kind of thing for you when you want to raise money for something. Most it is people in real need. I gave for someone that has high hospital fees to pay. I am mentioning this because I also think this process has helped me want to be more giving, I now see myself as these people, that may sound like I am still thinking about myself but I also know what it feels like to be in need. I can identify to them more by this process and interesting enough feel more compassionate.

I put it on facebook!! Yes I felt that twinge of fear, then relief to be confronting my fears, yes the fears are there; what will people think; being judged for being so bold to 'ask for money'. Am I an embarrassment to my children, well that's a given, hehe!!

Now I feel a sense of empowerment for 'being so bold', I am excited to do some marketing of my blog, kind of like a business but generally a sharing of my project and yes if that gives me my goal, well good for me. The major process is to grow through this experience, observe myself each day when I check my Paypal account or my bank account and what I see. I have decided to really put myself out there and include my bank account details. Just doing what occurs each day.

An added bonus is I get to use my own photos on the blog, I did a blog about a year ago and used others photographic images but I get to share my own passion for photography.

Abundance to us all!

Sharne Warren
Pay Pal account sharneshaan@gmail.com

How it all began

3,000,000 people give $1

To ME. Where it all began. I was walking along the beach today and decided to meditate on Abundance. I just kept asking ‘what does abundance mean?’. I allowed the answers to come, giving, being open to receiving, generous, healthy body, living in a nice area, generous spirit. I saw most of the thoughts that came were not about the things that represent abundance in the world. Anyway just kept this up for a while, then I met a friend on the beach doing some yoga, I stopped, we chatted and interesting that this woman is reasonably wealthy, she has money in the bank, owns her home. She was telling me she is of traveling and said she has the freedom to not be tied to a schedule and was happy to live like that after bringing up four children.

We are around the same age, our children went to the same school, we both have moved on from our marriages, our children have grown up. As I kept walking I was thinking ‘I want her life’ I want the freedom to do what I want when I want. It wasn’t in an envious way, just wow that is great, how wonderful to be able to live like that. Then I started to think what would I need to do that, firstly about $3,000,000, I could buy a home, I could have money in the bank to do the things I would enjoy to do without thinking about how I was going to do that. I buy the occasional lottery ticket, so it’s a possibility but not exactly a sure thing. So then I thought if 3,000,000 people gave me a dollar it’s a possibility and no not a sure thing either but a ‘project’.

So the idea of a project and a challenge to see how open I was to receiving $3,000,000 being given to me. I think that became the most interesting idea, how open am I to having $3,000,000, how open am I to being given that amount of money? How do I feel about what people will think of me for asking for 3,000,000 people to giving me a dollar each? So the only way to find out is to do it.

Now you might want some background about me before you even consider giving me a dollar. I am a 59 years old woman, I have 3 grown children, 31, 27 and 23. I love my children so much it makes me want to cry. I live in Byron Bay, which is a beautiful coastal village in Australia. I am currently renting a small flat at the back of a house for $250 p.w., I work 2 days a week in the local toyshop and I receive a government allowance. I am not well off but I am not destitute. I have a pretty good life, make ends meet, pay my bills on time. I am a good person, I have had my share of hardships in life but it’s not about boring you with those details. I have made stupid mistakes but again no boring details. I am a spiritual person, for me, it is the only way to make sense of the world I live in. I have wonderful friendships that I value immensely, it is one of the joys in my life, my friends and being there for them through the joys and the sorrows.

You might want to know what I would do with the money. Well like I said I would buy a house and probably in Sydney, Australia so my sons could live in it too. I would spend more time visiting my daughter who lives in Los Angeles and I don’t get to see her as much as I would like. I would open my house to my friends whenever they wanted to have a nurturing place to stay, cause with $3,000,000 it would be a very nice tranquil place to be. I would definitely do some yoga retreats, I have just started doing yoga and I love it, I would more than likely want to shout some friends to come too. I would be a better financial support to my children. But seriously I would just like to know, before I move on from this life, what it would be like to have a couple of million dollars to enjoy my life with. Nothing special or profound, oh yes I would enjoy donating or giving gifts to people and causes that inspire me, but really just would love to know what it would feel like to have money. So I am including my PayPal for those who would like to donate a $1. I will be updating the project to keep all my ‘sponsors’ informed as to how it is all going. Because it is a project and now I realise a process, I want to blog this for my own journey and of course it will be your journey as well.

Wishing everyone love and abundance!

Sharne Warren PayPal sharneshaan@gmail.com