Well so far I have talked to a few people about my 'project', close friends of course and I have had a very positive response. They do love and value me though, so not a good gauge of how I will feel exposing my new ideas to the masses or people on my facebook. Today is the day I am going to put myself out there.
So a thought that occurred to me was that I'm a cyber beggar, at first I felt shocked and in seconds highly amused and open to that idea. And yes it confronts my judgements in the past of people on the streets begging for money and 'oh no I'm not one of them' but yes I am, I might not be dressed like them or live on the streets or have issues with addictions but I do see myself like them.
I feel the pressures of life to be something I don't think I can achieve in the traditional sense. I feel diminished at times by my circumstances. This project is about confronting all those fears, even just thinking about allowing myself to have a different life is part of the confrontation for me.
Yesterday I gave to a cause on facebook, also it was a site friends have told me about where people do this kind of thing for you when you want to raise money for something. Most it is people in real need. I gave for someone that has high hospital fees to pay. I am mentioning this because I also think this process has helped me want to be more giving, I now see myself as these people, that may sound like I am still thinking about myself but I also know what it feels like to be in need. I can identify to them more by this process and interesting enough feel more compassionate.
I put it on facebook!! Yes I felt that twinge of fear, then relief to be confronting my fears, yes the fears are there; what will people think; being judged for being so bold to 'ask for money'. Am I an embarrassment to my children, well that's a given, hehe!!
Now I feel a sense of empowerment for 'being so bold', I am excited to do some marketing of my blog, kind of like a business but generally a sharing of my project and yes if that gives me my goal, well good for me. The major process is to grow through this experience, observe myself each day when I check my Paypal account or my bank account and what I see. I have decided to really put myself out there and include my bank account details. Just doing what occurs each day.
An added bonus is I get to use my own photos on the blog, I did a blog about a year ago and used others photographic images but I get to share my own passion for photography.
Abundance to us all!
Sharne Warren
Pay Pal account sharneshaan@gmail.com
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